The Woman I Pity The Most

All us of us somehow scrape through 8 -10 hours with pigz everyday , but then I gave a thought to who has to endure him after that , its his poor wife (if she really exists) , she is "The Woman I Pity The Most(TWIPTM)....." . The other day I had a call with piggy I realised I was within the firing range of one of the worlds most deadliest stinks , Piggy's breath. The moment he opens his mouth you feel a gush of green air coming towards you and before you know it, your senses go for a toss. But this time I was ready , I popped up 5 mento-fresh candies in my mouth and let out a fresh breath as a counter-attack , but the "green goblin" was more powerful than expected , his green breath beat mine easily and I lay there on the desk unconscious !!!!! Back to TWIPTM , according to reliable source she slipped into a comma for 5 months after her first KISS with pigzy and by the time she came out of the comma Pigo had become Pi-gay !!!! Poor soul.
She has serious doubts that Pigo is having an affair with their doodhwala and the newspaper boy together . She has notices everytime it is Pigo who goes to fetch the milk packet and the newspaper.She also once saw the doodhwala picking up his dhoti and running away in a hurry when she came out once and piggy had a lust-ex on his face but was trying to hide it. I dont understand how the lady can take it when her husbands passes those lust-ex's to the doodhwala and the newspaper boy and numerous others. People wish to have a kinky sex-life after marriage ,but for TWIPTM it definitely stinky rather than kinky .
She is definitely "The Woman I Pity The Most.......".

Pigo Kaka

Its moderation season and it seems Pigo's gay hormones are overflowing as usual , coz he has a lust-ex 24 X 7 on his face. I thank my stars for not having to be in the moderation meeting with Pigzy for the whole day!! The bay is rid of his shit-ex's & lust-ex's for a full day. We all were wondering what would Pigo oink in the moderation meet when Bihari babu came back with the news that he had seen Pigo collecting pizzas from the delivery boy at the office gate.
Now we know what he is doing in the moderation meeting , he is essaying the role of "Pigo Kaka" in it. He is serving pizzas and drinks to everyone , wearing a vest with 14 holes and khakhi shorts which look like he has stolen them from a traffic policeman of the 70's , all this teamed with a smelly (as smelly as his breath) cloth on his shoulder.
Kya karen , if u dont have an organ called as the "brain" ,like Pigo , some other organs have to be sprung into action which I am sure he did. We imagined Pigo running around in the moderation meet with a shit-ex . According to reliable sources he was reprimanded a few times , when he was caught staring lustily at ummm (something I cant mention in the blog) of a few men in the meeting, some of whom were absolutely not amused I assume. But I am sure some of them must have fallen for his lust-ex . How else would you explain , Pigo being a TL ???

Pigo or Pi-GAY ???

We were just about getting adjusted to Pigo's high level of intellect when we were shuddered by another possible calamity. Of late Pigo had been making advances on me, Bihari Babu and KK , the problem was, those advances were of the sexual kind !!!!!!! All three of us were on the verge of being exploited . As if not having any decent chicks was'nt enough , we had to deal with a sex-hungry gay pig now !!!! God have mercy !!!!
All 3 of us were finding it difficult to keep our morales intact with each passing day . We did not want to lose our virginity to this gay pig. These days there was less of shit-ex and more of a lusty expression , whenever Pigo would look at any of us , we would feel his lust and could notice the saliva getting generated from his tongue (this expression from hereon would be referred to as lust-ex). Pigzz had chosen his favourite parts for each of us , my hair , KK's newly acquired bald head and worst of all poor Bihari Babu's waist , which Pigzy would make all efforts not to leave untouched !!!!! I somehow had the intuition Babu would have the toughest time keeping his "izzat" as Pigo salivated the most at the sight of him and would have the longest lust-ex.
But with all the recession and stuff , we could see a brighter side to Pi-gayism . We had found the easiest way to getting a promotion this appraisal season !!! But one lust-ex from Pigyy Diamondzz and we knew , losing our dignity to him would be a lot more painful than not getting promoted !!!!

Pigo and Champz = Devil and the deep sea.......

I always thought God was in his worst mood when he decided to create Pigzy. But now I assume he was in an equally bad or even worse mood when he decided to create Champz. To make a choice between them is really like choosing between the devil and the deep sea. If Pigo has his pigiosms Champz has his Chugiri. Because of the number of questions asked by Champzz in the con-calls , JPMC incurred an additional cost of approx $13 million on its telephone bills. One of the onsite co-ordinators , who is a Champz victim and whose favourite game is baseball has bought a new baseball bat. He plans to stick it up Champz's ass and pull the other end out of his mouth,if Champz ever steps into the US of A. Pigo on the other hand , has trained his non-existent brain to nod at every word that the onsite guys speak with a shit-ex on his face. If some pyschopath genetic engineer ever decides to inflict a disaster on humanity by creating the deadliest living being ever , a genetic combination of Champz and Pigo would be the perfect recipe for it.

Pigo - The Fragrant

It was a pleasant morning in the office , I was feeling fresh after an early morning bath and a nice breakfast. All of a sudden I noticed a few strands of tiny hair falling on my desk , I realised they were my nostrils , before I could think of anything a pungent smell entered my nose zipped through my lungs to the deepest part of my guts. It was as if a "stink nuclear bomb" had been dropped on my head by Mr Bush. A deep darkness fell before my eyes . After a while I regained my senses and saw Pigo with a shit-ex on his face smiling at me. He oinked "Good Morning my dear !!!!!" . I was about to wish him back cheerfully but my lungs were still reeling from the shock they had just received. I managed a feeble "Hi". I had never felt the need for a deo so much as I was feeling now. I knew it was Pigo in front of me , but somehow what my eyes could see was a HUGE pig drenched in shit and raping my sense of smell a million times a second. Then Pigzzy opened his mouth once again and a gush of bad breath blew at 100 miles per hour straight into my already injured nostrils and uprooted a hundred of them at once. All the deo and mouth freshner ads I had seen in my life flashed before my eyes .
The ASE Benjamin Button was a true Pigo-sheeshya in this matter . His teeth were as yellow as the Chennai Super Kings jersey and his breath almost gave Pigo a run for his money. When he talked to someone he always brought his face so close to the other person that it gave the impression he was doing a root canal on him.
But I was happy that I was not the only one to endure all this as everyone including KK, Bihari Babu, Hannibal lady and Paagal-havi had faced this in the days to come. I seriously considered telling Pigzz that I have changed my religion and had converted to Jainism and would wear a mask on my face in office everyday. We all knew what we could gift Pigzy on his birthday !!!!!!!

First day on the job.....with Pigzz

Bihari babu(BB) had the "saubhagya" of working with the great Pigzz himself on his 1st work request. Pigo was supposed to mentor and train Bihari on the same. But poor BB, he found out pretty soon that an actual pig would have been a better trainer than Piggzy. Whenever BB asked Pigo some technical stuff ,Pigo would give an expression as if he had shit in his pants(this expression would from hereon be termed as shit-ex) and would pass his favourite dialogue "I will look into it". Whenever Pigo would stare at the monitor stretch for a long time as if would crack it,BB would hope that he came out with a solution to the problem but alas all Pigo would do was shit-ex.
I wonder how the folks in Detroit had tolerated Pigzy , maybe they spanked his ass with a hot rod everytime. I bet there are burn marks on his ass coz of that. He also started taking Knowledge transfer sessions once in a while , which could be used as a cure for insomnia as his sessions had the capacity to put off even the most active human beings to sleep in a jiffy. I dont know on what topics the sessions were conducted , but one common topic that would fit would be "Bull-shit".